Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
