For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We have started to decorate penises.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
