Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
