So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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