Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
