i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
