just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
