I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Don't tell me you're on acid again
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
