I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize