Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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