apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
