This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
