im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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