we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
