girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize