Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
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Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
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Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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