hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Drunk is not a location!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize