Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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