2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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