I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize