id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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