Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Randomize
