No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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