stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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