he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
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