Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
