then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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