thus making me awesome and them whores
time to smoke my breakfast
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
