that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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