good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize