I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
