my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
so that wasnt chicken after all
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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