she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
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But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
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There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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