question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize