hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
