What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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