got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
In America we eat man semen.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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