yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
please don't ironically join a cult
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