I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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