There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I forgot wine drunk hurts
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
