her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It was confusing and full of hummus
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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