sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize