Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
