Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She needs sedatives and a leash
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
