Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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