If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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