Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
