kristin has been a bad kristin
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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