i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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