Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
