You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
