OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We were destined to go to rehab together
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
