My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize