Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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