Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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