I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
