why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA