Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile

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(813): mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile http://tfl.nu/5jdq

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(904): View more from Florida

What are you doing tonight?

(847): View more from Illinois

Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.

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(904): What are you doing tonight? (847): Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life. http://tfl.nu/ilpj

Replies (15) Good night (680) Bad night (4031)
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(514): View more from Quebec

you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night

(514): View more from Quebec

i got kicked out last time for laughing

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(514): you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night (514): i got kicked out last time for laughing http://tfl.nu/qj8w

Replies (37) Good night (3547) Bad night (521)
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(619): View more from California

thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina

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(619): thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina http://tfl.nu/dtrt

Replies (29) Good night (6034) Bad night (732) Order T-Shirt
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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.

(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

thats a woman

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(709): she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her. (709): thats a woman http://tfl.nu/e6ls

Replies (10) Good night (1159) Bad night (1754)
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(713): View more from Texas

you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.

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(713): you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank. http://tfl.nu/t4i5

Replies (12) Good night (3457) Bad night (802) Order T-Shirt
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(201): View more from New Jersey

we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me

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(201): we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me http://tfl.nu/mhrn

Replies (34) Good night (578) Bad night (4842) Order T-Shirt
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(530): View more from California

Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.

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(530): Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering. http://tfl.nu/vhlw

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(406): View more from Montana

she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.

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(406): she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure. http://tfl.nu/ut3o

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(905): View more from Ontario

Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.

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(905): Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well. http://tfl.nu/5evy

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(618): View more from Illinois

I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.

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(618): I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high. http://tfl.nu/waf9

Replies (4) Good night (1491) Bad night (358)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy

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(614): I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy http://tfl.nu/28is

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(309): View more from Illinois

It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.

(1-309): View more from Illinois

...Wow...

(309): View more from Illinois

I could be a kindergarten teacher

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(309): It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life. (1-309): ...Wow... (309): I could be a kindergarten teacher http://tfl.nu/o4tt

Replies (20) Good night (1196) Bad night (338)
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(802): View more from Vermont

Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.

(802): View more from Vermont

'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'

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(802): Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday. (802): 'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!' http://tfl.nu/efoo

Replies (3) Good night (815) Bad night (186)
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(239): View more from Florida

Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.

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(239): Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows. http://tfl.nu/ni5n

Replies (6) Good night (398) Bad night (184) Order T-Shirt

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