My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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