I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize