I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍