Texts From Last Night

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  (712): View more from Iowa

  You should dream of me :)

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm going to dream of single life.

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  (712): You should dream of me :) (402): I'm going to dream of single life. http://tfl.nu/hb9m
  Replies (24) Good night (868) Bad night (2764)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.

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  (720): Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown (303): I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself. http://tfl.nu/zmkv
  Replies (44) Good night (8529) Bad night (1012)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.

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  (713): She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife. http://tfl.nu/71gc
  Replies (24) Good night (5456) Bad night (666)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.

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  (952): well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning. http://tfl.nu/jye2
  Replies (14) Good night (5541) Bad night (1343)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't

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  (925): I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't http://tfl.nu/i8hu
  Replies (29) Good night (6059) Bad night (1205)
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  (415): View more from California

  was it good sex?

  (510): View more from California

  i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was

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  (415): was it good sex? (510): i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was http://tfl.nu/o836
  Replies (13) Good night (4175) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.

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  (912): we bribed her with croutons and jello shots. http://tfl.nu/71j8
  Replies (4) Good night (3231) Bad night (747)
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  (315): View more from New York

  yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...

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  (315): yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms... http://tfl.nu/res2
  Replies (13) Good night (1962) Bad night (706)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.

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  (703): You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter. http://tfl.nu/b2tf
  Replies (4) Good night (2614) Bad night (802)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.

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  (573): He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady. http://tfl.nu/txg0
  Replies (6) Good night (2490) Bad night (521)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.

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  (734): So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know. http://tfl.nu/o6il
  Replies (2) Good night (1489) Bad night (491)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.

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  (603): I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry. http://tfl.nu/hfvn
  Replies (3) Good night (866) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder

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  (217): turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder http://tfl.nu/r034
  Replies (0) Good night (443) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"

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  (613): Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!" http://tfl.nu/otim
  Replies (2) Good night (433) Bad night (210)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.

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  (773): my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar. http://tfl.nu/vpt2
  Replies (3) Good night (1144) Bad night (305)

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