thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
