you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
40s are totally the cure
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
