Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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