help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The uberlube is also flammable
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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