he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
